I Am Not Lucky

“You’re lucky…”

I know I’m not the only person who’ve heard these two words from other people.

While grateful for every good thing I have right now, I still can’t wrap my head around the concept of “luck” and asked myself, did I just get lucky?

I ask because, I hear this over and over again from different people.

In some ways, at times I believed at some luck, accepted charms to boost luck but now that I have became more mature and gained better understanding in life, I don’t believe that where I am right now is driven by luck.

I have worked hard to get where I am today.

Growing up, my parents trained us to do house chores and be resilient since we are not well off. I remember going to school on a slipper or a . To make it comfortable to walk, I insert a cardboard cut out of my foot in it.

We lived in a nipa hut house and while it’s fresh and comfortable, it’s terrible on rainy season where the rain goes through the roof. We also helped our mother when she did the laundry for his brother, or sold banana cue or barbecue in front of our house after a disappointing attempt to work abroad as a domestic helper.

In high school, I learned to be resourceful in completing projects. I learned to catch a fish from a nearby fish pond for an aquarium project instead of buying a pet fish from the pet store. What do you know, my immunity to germs have gone high because of that.

In college, I was a working student. Working as an assistant in the Dean’s office taught me to be skilled in dealing with different people. I worked 6 hours a day from 6am till noon and spent the other half of the day attending lectures and studying.

When I had my daughter at 19, I spent my allowances for her milk because I can’t feed her while I was at school. I also skipped meals to save up for projects or live off the generosity of friends.

When her father, my husband, passed, I realized right then and there at how difficult it is to survive. I mean, I was a newly graduate, living with my parents, unemployed and already have a mouth to feed. I had no choice but to leave my daughter with my parents and worked at a nearby city.

All of these experiences gave me the strength of character, humility, tolerance, hard work and most importantly, it taught me the value of things.

7 years after my last corporate job, I am now working with a very good company located in Australia. I work from home with total flexibility of my time. I was chosen among 104 applicants with very good backgrounds. Some graduated from top universities of bigger cities.

4 years from that last interview, I am now the head of the Customer Happiness Department and handles a team of two amazing super moms. Our company have grown from just one (yes, I am the first hire), to 7 team members.

And before you’ll say I was lucky to land this job, I want to let you know that I have worked my way right here. I have studied, trained, took the initiative of providing solutions to problems to be here.

Before this job, I dealt with many employers who never paid me for my service. It took me hundreds and hundreds of application letter, revisions of my resume and a lot of youtube training videos to learn the skills to be worthy of my job.

Will you still say I am just lucky?

For all of the years since my husband’s passing, I have supported my daughter financially all by myself. Saying that gives me pride, I won’t deny that.

For 8 years, I have lived my life solo. Unexpectedly, I met a great man who I took risk to share my life with my daughter. He is amazing. We are living a simple, great and happy life today.

Now people come commenting on our relationship and tell us how lucky I am to have him. And while I would agree at some degree that my man is awesome and he loves us so much, I would say it’s far from luck.

And before I met him, I took risks to meet men. Different kinds of them, was with one who broke my heart and made me feel insecure for being a mom in the dating scene.

While you would say I am lucky to have my man in my life, I would say it’s never luck that brought us together. We, as individuals in our lives before we met, have to go through a lot of pain and learning individual lessons in love and life with a partner from our past. We went through pain.

Our relationship didn’t just happen to be amazing. We had lots of fights, disagreements and arguments in our relationship. But we worked hard, we worked together to always resolve whatever issue there is. This is the result of our willingness to take risks, to go through the pain of letting go of some people in our lives and the boldness to just try again.

Is that just luck?

When they say, “You’re lucky…”, it kinds of play down the value of hard work you put in to get where you are at. It seems to denote that you got things so easily without sweat.

Where I am right now, I believe is an accumulation of all the work I did from the ground up.

My relationship is a result of all the pain I have to put up with, to fight for this relationship and to continually work on myself love.

My career is a result of every labor, training and skills I got from experiences and all the late nights I have to pull up to get the job done.

My good life didn’t just happen because of luck. It happened because I was bold to take risks, try and do things over and over again with the strength of character built up from my difficult experiences.

Don’t tell me I am lucky. I am a hardworking, risk-taker, and a doer individual.

I am far from just lucky.